I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just high enough for therapy.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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