Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
