whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
