oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
