The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
