Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
