and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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