A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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