Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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