I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
