I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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