If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
No subtext here. People are naked.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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