I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize