he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm having to shit out rocks
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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