is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
