yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's just like the Real World with babies
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
