I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
