Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
