I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
