Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
