some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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