Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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