There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
