Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
