you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
did you just send me my own nude
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
