It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize