plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
