Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize