I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize