they need to just BURY HIM!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize