Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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