Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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