Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
