At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
