I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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