She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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