KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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