Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize