i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize