Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
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