so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
