is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
