can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
