Only a mothe r could love this liver
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
