youre lurking in front of me
I need to stop coming to work sober
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
