I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
