apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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