Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
