it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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