wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
