he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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