So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
