I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She needs sedatives and a leash
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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