You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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