Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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