the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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