i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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