Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
