If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize