So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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