Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
