All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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