the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
