Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
