Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize