in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
